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What to Do When Your Mom Discovers Your Blog

My mom has discovered mine (formerly on LJ) and I was greeted with “You sure do curse a lot in your little online journal.” Then, “Write some more stuff. You’re funny.” I guess my life is a semi-open book, and I really don’t care. I assume that anything posted on the internet, or put into writing for that matter, is fair game to be found by anyone so why the heck would I post anything online that I wouldn’t want anyone else to see?

I guess that brings me to the whole point of keeping a “blog” in the first place: I talk a lot, and I have more than a handful of friends with whom I’ll share my life experiences and tales and triumph and woe. It’s easier to write things down than say them out loud anyway (and I like having a permanent record of my fleeting thoughts) so why not put them out there so that whoever cares to listen can… listen? So there’s the answer to that question, Courtney and Erin. See, I’ve killed two birds with one stone already.

Why the move from LJ? Because I also like witty banter, and that’s a little hard since most of my journal-reading friends don’t have LiveJournals. And plus, I just wanted to be different.

A Trial In Verse

Bless His Soul, but people have been telling Michael Jackson for years: Stop The Love That You Save—it’s Bad! But Michael always replies, Leave Me Alone! It’s just Human Nature! Why you Wanna Trip on Me? I thought Mike had had enough of the Young Folks, but obviously not. Another little boy said Mike asked him How Funky Is Your Chicken and tried to Reach In. Mike was able to claim We’re Just Good Friends and make all the other accusers Beat It, but this P.Y.T. said Doctor, My Eyes! The DA was waiting for a chance to say That’s What You Get and this time they really socked it to him. They said it’s Too Late to Change the Time and it turned out that this Private Affair was going to the courts. Everyone was in a State of Shock. Michael’s always been a Dreamer—he’s a master of the Art of Madnes—but is this kind of Torture really part of his Style of Life? It was getting really hard to continue to Blame it on the Boogie. Some people started thinking that maybe Michael really was In the Closet, but others said just listen to what the lawyers Say Say Say.

While Michael’s family continued to Keep the Faith, the media did a Jump For Joy. You know how they always Wanna Be Startin’ Something. While he’s showing up in pajamas, his attorneys were working Night and Day to keep him living his life Off the Wall. I know it made them want to Scream because it was like he just didn’t want to see the Man in the Mirror. He pulled it together just enough though (maybe Janet helped him to Trust a Try and keep it under Control). He realized the situation was Dangerous and he was really on the verge of being Gone Too Soon.

The case was a real Thriller—I turned into a Tabloid Junkie and I had to Get on the Floor once the verdict came on. If he ended up being guilty it would have really Rocked my World, because if Mike had really done all those things, I just didn’t want To Know. The whole time I was thinking about the mother—if she really thought Blood was on the Dance Floor, why didn’t she Jam like a Speed Demon instead of saying Enjoy Yourself? If there was really something going on, she would have asked her baby Who’s Loving You and said 2 Bad, we’re Standing in the Shadows of Love Darling Dear, but I’m gonna take a Stand and Walk On away from the Boogie Man. But she didn’t…I think it was all about the Money for Dirty Diana.

Well, Can You Feel It? The prosecution had to Give It Up because the jury’s Reflections said it doesn’t matter if he’s Black or White. There’s too much doubt for us to say Who Is It, so that’s how it goes, you Never Can Say Goodbye. They just couldn’t make this Moving Violation stick. Ho How Happy the Jackson family was, but I think they only said I’ll Be There until they could get over this Bridge Over Troubled Water. In a few days they’ll all be Going Back to Indiana and Michael will see that The Love I Saw In You was Just a Mirage.

I tell you, Mike sure is a Smooth Criminal, cause now he’s about to Ease on Down the Road. I’ma give him One More Chance… I just hope This Time Around that he will Heal His World, Remember the Time and Stop While He’s Had Enough. I’ll Bet You he takes this as a warning: You’re Gonna Change Your Style and stop Living Together with Ben and Billie Jean. The next time he runs up talkin about I Can’t Help It, he’ll be sayin’ Baby Be Mine on cellblock D. And you know what I’ll say? That’s What You Get.